It must have been the day that the universe decided I needed to be hit over the head by media against spending too much time on media (social, that is).
First, it was a book I’m currently reading- and it’s so yummy, I wish I could eat it. The book is called “The Perfection Detox.” It is written by my friend and mentor, Petra Kolber. I was reading “Step 10: Take Time Out From Social Media.” It was on how social media can make us feel “less-than” by comparing our back story to everyone else’s highlight reel.
Then, I popped open the latest edition of Experience Life magazine, where the perils of social media were pinned as a habitual quest of “doing” and a lack of peace with just “being.”
Being an impulsive personality, I am certain I pop my FB and Insta apps open far more times throughout the day than I’m even conscientious of doing! But I’m not looking at other people’s stories with judgment or jealousy. I hope people don’t look at mine that way. We must all be responsible for our thoughts and make a rainbow intervention when we start letting negative thoughts slip in. If social media had come a place that you go to harbor clouds over your life where there are none, maybe it’s time to take a social break. With the power of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet, delete those apps and bring life’s sunny side back up!
For me, here’s where/when social brings me down… when the same men, especially those who have harassed me in the past, routinely “like” my photos and videos. I use my body to inspire people to movement through photos and videos on Instagram and Facebook. My vibe undeniably attracts a tribe of women. When a male colleague in the fitness industry or a friend from college likes (or loves) my posts, I know their support is just that- supportive. But when it’s a random old man- who happens to be a stranger- and his “likes” just keep coming with every sports bra post, I die a little inside. I feel sad, grossed out, and disappointed. But I didn’t put myself out there for him. Why should his attention chip away my self-esteem. (I’m sure creepers everywhere think much the opposite- that we would be grateful for their ogling and barrage of “likes”… but wrong. And ewww!) Then I start thinking I’m exposing too much of myself on the internet and I should cover up more. But my subconscious, BB, quickly roars, “No! You are tasteful in the clothing you pick and you’re showing people what’s possible with hard work. Do your thing, girl!”
And do my thing, I will.
I know there’s a function on social media that allows you to block a person, but I am a people-pleaser to a fault! (Through “The Perfection Detox,” I’ve discovered that my #1 negative recurring thought is “You’re a disappointment.” Now that I’ve recognized it, I can start to fix it). So, I have worried about hurting feelings by blocking suspected man-spam. Then, I worry that they’ll find me some other way and retaliate- with anger and rage- for blocking them. Well, I’m not as familiar with the block button as I hope to become, but I have blocked a few people. That’s something. And, watch out social stalkers, I liked it- a lot!